Saturday, September 7, 2013

Adolescence: Now What?



There are so many books about Aspergers Syndrome.  I suppose this should be a welcome fact given that Aspergers is still in its infancy.  And many provide invaluable information helping parents to observe and identify Aspergers in their children, which is a Godsend in a world where many doctors and psychologists, while aware of Aspergers, are not adept at recognizing the simple fact that there is no "golden source" set of Aspie symptoms.  Instead, it usually presents itself with a few common indicators, (e.g, failure of eye-contact, specific and obsessive interests), but each Aspie child presents differently.  While severity is certainly a factor, personality is also an important part of what an Aspie child presents.  This makes it difficult for a professional that does not specialize in Aspergers Syndrome to spot the Aspie traits.

As my son entered adolescence, I noted that the books continued to point out the Aspie traits, but there were fewer and fewer books offering techniques for dealing with the new and uncharted world of Aspie adolescence!  Sure, Aspie boys may lack street smarts about sex, and thus may become obsessed with porn...and??  What next?  What do I do with that?  Each time these new traits were exhibited, I would once again pull out my Aspie library and begin to research, hoping for a glimmer of what I could do to ensure that we continued Jack's progress.  

At about 12, I ran out of material, and it was frustrating!  So for the past year I have been floundering for ways to counter the adolescent Aspie's "I-don't-care-if-the-rest-of-the-world-knows-I'm-smart" attitude, and super short frustration fuse!  This combination is not good for a school-aged kid, as it results in grades that do not even remotely relate to what he has learned, and teachers who are frustrated by his lack of drive and inability to ask for help and desire to pull a runner at the slightest conflict in class.  

So I am on my own again, trying to figure out what will work.  Short term rewards and privileges?  But what?  If I offer a trip to Tokyo for grades that prove effort and classwork that gets completed?  "I'm out, " he says.  And this is a dream trip for him.  So too long term I guess!

Allowing him to attend his weekly "Duelling Tournaments" for a good week?  Probably too short term as I don't have a good barometer weekly.  So what next?  

I don't know.  I do know that failure is not an option, so we keep trying until we figure out what works for now.  On my end, the reward is huge, so I'm still plugging away.  I've got a man to raise after all!

No comments:

Post a Comment